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Sometimes we cause a conflict with a co-worker, subordinate, or supervisor when we unwittingly act disrespectfully toward them. In this article, we will examine a couple ways that showing disrespect can creep into your workplace and how it can result in low morale, unworkable team relationships, decreased productivity, and possible liabilities.

Don’t Overstep Personal Boundaries

Respecting personal boundaries includes respecting topics of conversation. Sometimes when we work with people for many months or even years, we start assuming we know everything about their lives. We share thoughts on the latest news, politics, a new movie or theater production, anecdotes about our families, and complaints about our neighbors. We gossip and giggle over someone’s latest date and marvel over the growing pregnant belly of the co-worker down the hall.

In truth, we actually don’t know everything about anyone else’s life, and when we forget that in the familiar atmosphere of the workplace, it can cause conflicts. Take a moment to list some things you do not share with others at work—the falling value of your investments, your child’s low grades, the shortcomings of your latest personnel evaluation—you get the idea. All your co-workers have similar, personal concerns that they would like to keep private, too. 

Pay attention to words and attitudes. When a conversation gets uncomfortable for someone, you’ll see or hear the signs. As amused or interested you may be in delving deeper into the subject don’t pry or force the conversation beyond the limits of comfort. Do you remember the times when someone was trying to pry information out of you and how uncomfortable it made you feel?

Respecting personal boundaries includes respecting physical space. The proper physical space to maintain when talking to someone varies by culture and sometimes by hierarchy within an organization, but a general rule of thumb can serve you well. Imagine the size of your personal space by extending your arms and drawing a circle around yourself using your arm span as the diameter of the circle. While there are situations (being seated at a crowded conference table) in which keeping that much space isn’t possible, most of the time you can keep a comfortable distance between you and others with the arm span method.

Don’t be Untrustworthy with Confidential Information

Good risk managers know when issue confidentiality must be kept on a business-need-to-know basis, such as in a discrimination complaint investigation processes. They know employee medical records require locked storage with limited access. Confidentiality as to every day workplace issues can be important, too. When a co-worker confides in you about a highly personal matter, accept the fact this person has complimented you by entrusting you with personal information. Respect that trust and your co-worker by not making mention of it to others, no matter how juicy a tidbit of information it may be.

Bottom Line
Some people tout the Golden Rule—“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”—as the way to avoid conflicts in life. This approach focuses on what you like and assumes that others like the same treatment. A more effective approach is what some call the “Platinum Rule”—“Do unto others as they would have you do unto them.” That approach focuses on how others would like to be treated by you. Why not give it a try in your workplace?